Q: Why did the boy throw his plate up in the air?

A: Because he wanted to see a flying saucer!

 

Q: Why did the boy put his clock in the oven?

A: Because he wanted to have a hot time!

 

Q: What’s the largest pencil in the world?

A: Pennsylvania.

 

Q: What’s the biggest soda in the world?

A: Minnesota.

 

Knock-knock.

Who’s there?

Ketchup.

Ketchup who?

Ketchup with you later.

 

Knock-knock.

Who’s there?

Police.

Police who?

Police pass the salt.

 

Knock-knock.

Who’s there?

Isidore.Isidore who?

Isidore open?

 

Q: What are horses’ best friends?

A: Their neigh-eigh-eigh-bours.

 

Q: Can you say thanks in Hungarian?

A: Sure: “Thanks in Hungarian”.

 

Q: A father asked his son to pick five barrels of apples. How many barrels did the boy pick?

A: None. Barrels don’t grow on trees!

 

Q: Why don’t pigs fly?

A: Because they can’t afford plane tickets.

 

Q: What does a comedian like best for lunch?

A: A baloney sandwich.

 

Q: What letter is not in the alphabet?

A: The letter that’s in the mailbox!

 

Knock-knock.

Who’s there?

Catch.

Catch who?

Gesundheit!

 

Knock-knock.

Who’s there?

Irish stew.

Irish stew who?

Irish stew a merry Christmas!

 

Q: Why didn’t the chicken cross the road?

A: Because the light was red.

 

Q: If you drop a white hat into the Black Sea, what does it become?

A: Wet!

 

Q: Why did the boy go to the ball game on such a hot day?

A: Because he heard there were lots of fans there.

 

Q: In what month do dogs bark the least?

A: In February. It’s the shortest!

 

Q: When is a door not a door?

A: When it’s ajar.