Throughout North America, and in many other countries, K-12 schools have traditional methods of discipline. While I definitely agree that schools should maintain discipline, one really big problem is that the majority of schools maintain discipline the wrong way. The following are major problem areas.

Respect
This is a major controversial issue in K-12 schools. Many schools put too much emphasis on respecting teachers and too little emphasis on respecting other students. Often, when penalties for disrespect are mentioned in school handbooks, all too often the “disrespect” they’re referring to is disrespect towards teachers, not harassment towards other students! In fact, in many cases, if a kid calls another kid a dirty name, all it results in is chastising and it’s dismissed as a common mistake, but if a kid calls a teacher by his/her first name, it’s as if the kid has committed a felony! Sometimes, even major acts towards other kids like violating personal parts of their bodies, bullying them in the washrooms, physically attacking them, etc. don’t count for nearly as much as calling teachers by their first names.

Personally, I do not believe that calling teachers by their first names is disrespectful, or that it would promote disrespect. Children call other adults by their first names, such as their parents’ friends, their friends’ parents, babysitters, recreational counselors, daycare workers, and in some cases, school paraprofessionals, and that doesn’t promote disrespect. In fact, that makes adults much more approachable. I know because in the Saskatoon Montessori school, kids call the teachers by their first names and they’re still as respectful as they could be. Other schools where kids normally call teachers by their first names include those in Denmark and Israel, as well as Jewish and Amish schools. Are kids disrespectful to teachers in those schools? Duh!

I’m not saying that children shouldn’t show respect to teachers. They definitely should. But tome that means listening, not talking or reading a book when the teacher is talking, using an appropriate voice when answering reasonable or innocent questions (which many kids don’t, and that upsets me a lot), and above all, no sassing or talking back! Kids certainly should respect their elders,and kids canNOT get sassy or rebellious with me. But respect and formality are as different as chalk and chocolate.

Strictly speaking, I think the penalties for harassing and bullying other kids should be as severe, if not more, than those for disrespect to teachers.

Friends vs. Disciplinarians
I feel that teachers (and teachers’ assistants as well) should be
more like mentors, rather than merely school authorities and disciplinarians. When I was in Grades 2-4, I was in a privately run special needs classroom, which was run by parents who disapproved of the special education programs in the public schools. In this class, I had a teacher during the second half of third grade and all of fourth grade named Karen (yes, we were on a first name basis with her and many of the other teachers in that program). Karen was motherly, and very affectionate, to the kids. She was very interested in our personal lives and mentored us. She even had us over to her home for lunch a couple of times, and invited us over for supper, each in turn. In addition, birthday parties were the norm in this class.

When I started attending a regular classroom in Grade 5 (because I was now too old for the other class), I couldn’t believe that teachers didn’t socialize with the kids, or show interest in our personal lives, or even give diddly squat about how we were doing or feeling when we were sick or in troubled times. And I was quite dismayed when I learned that birthday parties like the ones we had in the special program were not usual in schools. I couldn’t believe how birthdays were ignored in regular classes.

I’m not saying kids shouldn’t be disciplined in school. They most certainly should. But I really think school staff should socialize with the kids and show interest in their personal lives, instead of just getting down to business. As a teacher’s assistant, I socialize with the kids all the time. When I work one-on-one with them, I do some “small talk” or at least ask them how they’ve been. I like to learn about their lives, such as asking them what they did during Christmas and summer holidays, etc. I also like to play with them at recess. But I discipline kids as well, like when they’re not trying as hard as they could be, or especially if they misbehave. I don’t allow them to swing between desks or sit on the tops of desk chairs, because that can make the desks flip over and cause serious injury. And nobody harasses other kids when I’m around!

In Denmark, teachers act as mentors as well as educators, are called by their first names, and have birthday parties in class, most often in the younger classes. I think schools around the world should be like the schools in Denmark. (Kids don’t wear school uniforms in Danish schools either, knock on wood.)
How School Rules Are Inappropriately Organized

Although schools definitely need to have rules to enforce discipline, I really think discipline would be enforced just as well, or even better, if many common rules were eliminated.

Classroom Rules
Most first and second grade teachers don’t let children write in cursive in class, even if they already know how to do so, until they are all officially taught to do handwriting. I know a kid in Saskatoon who could write in cursive when he was four, and I was so impressed. But his first and second grade teachers wouldn’t let him do it in class and so, in fact, he pretty much forgot how. I felt disturbed by it and am still pretty peeved at his teachers. Once, when I was in first grade, I wrote my name in cursive on a class assignment, and the teacher (a man, in a special education class) reprimanded me for writing instead of printing and didn’t sound the least impressed that a six-year-old could write in cursive.

As well, many teachers in the lower grades tell kids how to do their text, even long after they’ve known how. When I was in first grade, I could do my letters and numbers in formal style, like what you see on books, signs, etc., but my teacher wouldn’t let me. He made me do them the way they’re normally written by human hands. It was the same when my mom was in elementary school. Even doing the lower case a’s and g’s the hard way got you reprimanded, just because you didn’t do them “correctly”.

I think that, as soon as kids know how to print and/or handwrite, teachers should let them do their text their own way (Don’t you teachers dare take credit off their assignments for that!), just so long as it’s neat and legible, and if it’s done carelessly and/or messily, then it should be corrected. And if certain kids can write in cursive, even in first grade, teachers please LET THEM! Don’t deprive them of their abilities! When it comes time for handwriting lessons, maybe have the kids who can already do handwriting do a more advanced handwriting assignment. Also, kids who already have good printing skills when it’s time to teach printing to the class should have separate, more advanced, printing assignments.

Sameness
This is very common in schools. For example, many teachers, particularly those in the upper grades, order students to do their work in pen and don’t give them credit if they do correct assignments in pencil. As well, in many high schools, students have to wear the same colours of gym shorts and T-shirts in gym class. And not to mention school uniforms, which I hate. I think uniform policies tunnel vision kids because there’s no diversity. While I certainly don’t think kids should be ridiculed for their clothes, or that conflicts should arise between fancy and simple clothes, I feel these problems could just as easily be solved if dress code policies were limited to maintaining clean and appropriate clothing and avoiding tackiness and vulgarity. Many schools in North America have dress codes that mention certain types of clothing that are acceptable and which are not allowed, and I strongly favour those. But telling kids what colours to wear, e.g., “white shirts, navy pants”, is downright absurd. A lot of Aboriginal people where I live wear red, black, royal blue, and purple, and if school dress codes tell kids what colours to wear, Aborginal children may not be able to wear their sacred colours. If kids are told to wear white shirts and navy pants, why, for crying in the bucket, can’t they wear green? There’s simply nothing wrong with wearing green, because it’s a peace colour! So if any authorities in schools or school systems that have uniform policies read this, I sincerely hope they’ll take this into account.

In other words, making rules about what colours and/or patterns to wear is asking for far too much. If certain colours or patterns cause problems in any school or region, i.e., suggesting death, violence, etc., I think the best thing to do is to simply ban those colours and patterns. Banning certain kinds of clothes, like some fancy types, may also be a good idea. If any school or school board authorities happen to read this page, if you have uniform policies, I sure hope you’ll consider what I’ve just said.

Grades
One of the problems with school grades is the discrimination they can cause, especially because children are often discouraged from playing with other children who are, say, one grade higher or lower than themselves. Some classroom teachers even make rules stating that kids are only allowed to play with kids from their own classes or grades at recess. When I was a kid, one of the reasons why I wanted to go to my neighbourhood school was because I had a couple of friends on my street who went to that school. When I finally went, I was really looking forward to spending recesses with them. Unfortunately, however, when I was in Grade 5, they were in Grade 4, and that put a barricade between us at recess. It was a big disappointment. They played with kids from their own class and wouldn’t include me, indicating that I was “too old”. Old schmold. I seem to recall my friends’ teacher telling them they could only play with kids in their own grade and not with me because I wasn’t in their grade. I was also disappointed that I couldn’t sit with them in assemblies because we weren’t in the same class.

So I don’t think friends should be discouraged from playing together at recess at all, whether they’re in the same grade or not. They could even teach each other.

Tardiness
After spending two years at a special high school in Canada, I went to a regular high school in Oshkosh, Wisconsin, where my dad and stepmother lived. I was so shocked by the way students were accused of being “late” when they walked into the classroom even five seconds after the bell rang, or even if they came into the classroom just as the sound of the bell was fading away. What unfair accusations! The same went for the other high school I went to in Fort Dodge, Iowa, where I went for another two years. I don’t think students should be counted for being late until they come five minutes late, or two minutes at the very earliest.

Other rules typical of high school
When I went to high school in Iowa, I was shocked by the way students were not allowed to leave the school at lunch. As a person with Asperger’s, I was already disturbed with the way kids couldn’t go into the deserted corridors or into the nice, quiet library at lunch, away from all the hullaballoo. I certainly could have used some solitude. And not being allowed to go out at lunch meant not being able to go for walks in the surrounding neighbourhoods, and I love walking outside. In Wisconsin, students were allowed to leave the high school at lunch, so there I’d been able to go for walks sometimes.

As well, I think high schools should have breaks, other than lunch. I think a 20-minute break would be very good. That would give students a chance to recuperate. Five-minute periods allowing students to go from one class to another is not a break and is simply not enough. We didn’t have breaks apart from lunch in either Wisconsin or Iowa, which truly shocked me. But in Iowa, even the lunch period wasn’t nearly long enough – only 25 minutes! I think one hour minimum is essential.

I’ve also heard that some high schools have locked the cafeteria doors if students didn’t get there at a certain time, though this wasn’t the case when I went to school. Let’s hope this discontinues altogether! If high school and school board authorities ever happen to read this, please take into account that high school students are being deprived of independence if they’re not allowed to go out on their own at lunch time or go walking outside at breaks – if you have them, which I hope you do. And please remember that not letting them go outside, in the hallways, or the library at lunch time keeps students from having much-needed solitude, and that can affect their attention and concentration skills.

Furthermore, I think K-12 classes should be designed for students to learn at their own pace. Not every student learns at the same pace! Teachers can just explain the concept of the assignments to various children, and then they, along with the teachers’ assistants, can help them if they need to. Those long class lectures are pretty much a waste of time, and it burns me up that they leave the kids so little time to do their work. If they had more time, homework would be lessened a great deal, and the kids wouldn’t have to do so much school-related busywork outside of school. The slow learners could take their time, and the quick learners could move ahead! In addition, the quick learners can teach the slow learners. Peer tutoring can be very beneficial for many.

Strictly speaking, I think schools should put far more emphasis on harassment, bullying, and inclusion/exclusion. All those rules, like calling teachers Mr./Ms. So-and-so, telling all first- and second-graders to print when they can handwrite, telling kids to do their text a certain style, making students do all assignments in pen, making high school kids in gym wear the same colours of T-shirts and gym shorts, those rigid tardy policies, uniform policies, etc. have little, if any, use in preventing harassment and bullying and promoting acceptances of differences. Schools with the worst bullying problems have all of the above rules. So we’ve been proven how little good they do. Furthermore, I would love to see more adults with special needs giving presentations in schools and, hopefully, demonstrating their talents and strengths. That really expands kids’ horizons. I know by experience. Many formerly bratty children become humane and compassionate this way. School and school board authorities, if you read this, I hope you’ll take what I’ve said throughout this essay into consideration.

NOTE:
Despite the schools’ flaws, I did have a good education in high school. For ninth and tenth grades, I went to a special high school in Saskatoon. This one didn’t have most of the typical high school policies that I’ve just mentioned, which was why I was so shocked and disturbed when I first went to regular high schools in the U.S. I had a very good relationship with the teachers, but many of the kids had behaviour problems and were like the rough teenagers you hear cussing on the streets in the middle of the night or hanging out in washrooms, cussing and vandalizing. I felt secure, though, because it was a small school, people knew everyone, and the work was not so advanced. Many people may regard it as, what would have been called in the 70s and early 80s, an EMR school, but in reality, it was a school for students with special needs who needed to catch up on their K-12 education. In fact, many of these students ended up graduating in regular high schools, like I did. If the worst happened, students could take post-secondary high school credit classes and eventually get a G.E.D.

I went to live in the U.S. after some conflicts between my divorced parents over my education in Saskatoon. The special education teachers in Wisconsin were very helpful, especially Mr. Landry, who I got in contact with on the Internet in the fall of 1998, but some of the ones in Iowa were about as much help as the “help” key on a computer. One of the math teachers was especially lazy and gave me third-grade work. I did, however, have some good teachers in Iowa, including my physical education, Global Studies and my Career Exploration teachers. And I successfully graduated in June 1988.

As well, despite the nerve-wracking environment I endured in high school, things that helped me in Iowa were a very good youth group at church, having a couple of school friends (with special needs) to hang out with, and getting together with my stepmother’s family, who lived about 20 miles from Fort Dodge. I had an especially good relationship with my stepmother’s brother’s children, who lived on a farm about 2 miles south of Eagle Grove, Iowa (as did her mother). Unfortunately, though, many people with special needs don’t have those things.